![]() ![]() The overall effect is one of the most repellent acts of physical self-destruction in all of human history. Other symptoms include holes in lips and septums, plugged with metal rings, and sometimes massively distended ear lobes, which in extreme cases need to be filled with earrings the size of ice hockey pucks. One must further ask: is this toxic slick of blue hair dye causing irreparable brain damage among those who seriously overindulge?Įarly symptoms include an obsession with transgender pronouns, feminist conspiracy theories, rape culture, a belief that misogyny is everywhere if only you look hard enough… did I mention they’re obsessed with cats?ĭoes blue hair dye also have an effect on an abuser’s eyesight? What else can explain the True Blue’s obsession with compulsory feminist “statement spectacles”? These are usually peeked over, with an affected pseudo-intellectual, smarmy, shit-eating grin that shoots out a withering contempt for all but the right-on third-wave sisterhood. They’re like rad-fem glow-worms: sending out little flares of despair that say: “Let’s join together through shared misery, contempt of straight-acting men, a preference of cake over cock and a slightly creepy dependence on cats.” You’ll catch them at all high-profile anti-authoritarian events, because there’s no better way of rebelling against The System than looking exactly the same as everyone else.įrom undergraduate Corbynettes and Sanders fans, through placard-wielding Free Palestine offendotrons to anti-austerity trust fund marchers whose own austerity measures don’t extend to denying themselves gold iPhones and limited edition Nike Air Max, the internet’s most special snowflakes find unity through Voodoo Blue. Now I’m not saying for one minute that every blue-haired woman is a man-hating, sociopathic bunny boiler, in the same way not all Twitter users with ‘I voted Corbyn’ across the bottom of their avis are not all sanctimonious, retrograde socialists who want to take the UK back to the warm beer/pork pie and sex-with-the-pet-whippet days of the 1960s. Some are no doubt perfectly well-adjusted and productive members of society.īut there are enough blue goons to make the case for the prosecution beyond reasonable doubt. Take one look at Twitter – or, worse, Tumblr – and you’ll see that, increasingly, the barmiest, angriest feminist cry-babies in the world are rallying together under the Blue Banner. If you’re young, were born with XX chromosomes, and want the world know you wield poison and you’re not afraid to use it, there’s no clearer or more immediate way to signal how dangerous you are than dipping your coconut into a vat of de rigueur Manic Panic. On the face of it, “Why do so many angry women seem to have blue hair?” doesn’t seem like one of the most pressing issues of our time. Yet the more you think about it, and the more time you spend on the internet, the more you realise how much it matters. ![]()
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